If you are dating someone who has admitted to a past history of addictive sexual behavior you will need to know what to expect going forward. If the person you are dating has been in sex addiction treatment for upwards of a year or more.
Pro: Dependent Ever hear the saying, Replace one habit with another? It's incredibly true, especially among addicts. When trying to come or stay off drugs, they often switch vices. Smoking cigarettes, exercising or having sex are popular stand-ins.
This means they havent ever gotten used to talking about their feelings and needs with anyone. Let your addict know when he is not being open and when he seems to be putting you off.
People who are verbally articulate rock! Im in a long-term relationship and things arent as hot as they used to be. How do I heat things up again? I suggest making dates, away from home, staying overnight somewhere and role-playing.
Bringing in a third person can add some additional suspense. Sometimes the sex is hotter after the third person leaves. The trick to any of these things is to try them together and have fun with it.
Healthy communication: The addict is open and honest about what he feels and communicates his needs. He doesnt heap blame on his past partners or project blame onto you. He takes responsibility when he is wrong.
Con: Uncertainty There is a reason addicts continue attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and therapy sessions; dealing with addiction is a lifelong battle. Some days are better than others, but the temptation to use drugs is a strong force that can set back years of progress.
Id say verbal seduction every time! It must be sincere though: complimenting me on my appearance and what it does for you, and then eventually actually saying what you would like to do, without being crude, turns me on.
Preferably stay the night.
He may be ambivalent or avoidant about sex. Sometimes the addict will try to bring addictive behaviors into the relationship in some way. This may or may not be OK with you. What to do?